One week

One week from today we will find out if everything is OK in my aquarium and if our Shrimp(s) are doing well, too. It can't come soon enough even though I know that we will have more to see next week since I will be 8 weeks. I've still only had what I consider to be mild symptoms, which had me a bit worried on Sunday. I expressed this worry aloud to Broom, and our Shrimp responded promptly with the worst wave of nausea I've had on Monday. It was, indeed, reassuring!

This week has also been one filled with mixed emotions (in pregnancy? shocker) due to news from friends. On the one hand, I was over the moon to hear that a good friend of mine is pregnant, too! On the other hand, friends of ours are unfortunately not pregnant anymore. I didn't ask at what week they lost their baby (we were on largely identical TTC paths and she was about 2 weeks ahead of me), but I see them tomorrow at the movies and will see if they feel like talking about it. It broke my heart, but they told me that they are dealing OK and want to try again to get pregnant with their 2nd. Sigh.

On a separate note, we are going away for a longer weekend for Broom's birthday!
Very exciting, although I am a little worried about flying to Spain :) We will see how it goes! At least I will be busy relaxing and won't have time to fret about the ultrasound. Just have to pick up my homeopathic remedy for travel sickness, as flying tends to make me sick sometimes, and I am only guessing that it might be more magnified this time.

6w2d

Luckily, with each passing day, our ultrasound appointment gets closer!
I am really eager, nervous, and excited to make sure that everything is ok and to confirm how many "Shrimpy/ies" there are in there. Some days I cannot ignore the pregnancy symptoms, while on others I feel like I should feel more in order to be sure that everything is ok. I used my last digital and the display went up to 2-3 weeks so I am glad that it my hCG went up!

All in all, I have been feeling pretty good- I've been having: nausea, bloating, heartburn, sore hips, and fatigue. When the nausea hits at work, it's either been mild, or I've been able to breathe through it. I've had a couple of mood swings / bouts of weepiness to boot, mostly for non-reasons, as stuff like that tends to be :)

I've had a hard time not feeling like I look pregnant (due to the bloat) all the time and wanting to tell people. We will decide when to tell my family after the ultrasound and I will probably tell my work in week 12. Broom's family will be kept in the dark the longest to maintain our sanity.

We went to the largest annual lesbian gathering in Germany last weekend and it was awesome! I couldn't do as much as I wanted to do due to my fatigue, but it was such a touching and rejuvenating experience to be around so many lesbians that looked so different (butch, femme, androgynous, all sorts of skin tones and ability levels). I am really glad that we went!

13 days before we know more about how my aquarium inhabitant(s) are doing!

Sinking in

Well, it is slowly sinking in that I am pregnant- although I think that it will only truly sink in once we have a baby in our arms. I know I will feel better after our first gyno appointment on June 5th, but I am enjoying the now the best I can (ironically- it is only at night that I toss and turn with worries that have time!). The symptoms that I have been really mild so far and I am feeling great: nausea when I get too hungry or smell stinky cheese, pulling in my hips, massive bloating (belly and breasts), mild fatigue and really thirsty.

When I think about all that I did in my last cycle, I am still amazed and happy that we found the moment/combination/winning lottery ticket that did the trick:

- daily castor oil packs for about 1.5 weeks prior to the insem
- self-oil massage
- EFT-tapping and alternate nostril breathing
- omega 3-6-9 oil, coconut oil, folic acid, iron, and magnesium
- pulsatilla 5 globules 1x/day (I am not sure if that is the proper English name) which is really fitting to my constitution
- meteoreisen for the first ~3 days after the insem after which I decided it would be better for my immune system be weaker (my homeopath recommended it) to let implantation take place. I got a stuffy nose and a scratchy throat right after- which I took to be a good sign.
- after-ovulation tea
- ear acupuncture
- laughed after the insem (I probably looked crazy) and went out dancing the weekend after too (until 4am, so much fun! but of course no drinking)
- since this was our last "hurrah" I took 50mg of Clomid from cycle days 5-9, triggered with hCG 2 days before the insem, and have been on 200mg of progesterone since (the clinic wanted 600mg and I thought I didn't need that much)

I couldn't find a good pineapple, so I skipped eating pineapple core, and, well, this is the first cycle ever that I haven't spotted. The other cycle that I tried progesterone supplements on I spotted on, so I tried not to get my hopes up based on that- but it turned out to be a good sign for me!

*Please stick, baby!*

Body image and baby making

I have come to the unscientific conclusion that Germany is more critical about body image and what many Germans consider to be fat. It is also not considered (as far as I can tell) incredibly rude to call someone fat or talk about someone's body. There is even a show on called "The fat guy".

As a result, anyone who falls out of the societal norm is often judged for their body shape.
Here, I have heard people refer to me as being large or any other "nicer" term for fat, and I have been mistaken for being pregnant at least a handful of times (well, those were the number of times they asked me or said something about it- but now they would be right, ha!).

During the course of this journey to conceive I have made a conscious decision not to concentrate on how much I weigh. Priority number one was and is getting/staying pregnant and staying healthy. I do weigh a "lot" for my height- even though I think that with the exception of my small belly and ginormous breasts (thanks, genetics!), that my frame is actually on the small side. I am an average height and very strong woman- lifting weights makes me feel powerful and good (and, well, pectoral muscles are important for these girls I've got) and seeing my leg, arm, and back muscles makes me feel sexy. I am healthy and happy.

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for unwanted comments once I start to show and am already giving  myself pep talks about how amazing the whole process is here- because I've heard people- including coworkers call pregnant women fat. (And the person who said it is friends with the woman carrying twins! I told her that if she was my friend and talking about me like that that I would hate her and that she should have twins and see how she felt/looked. My mouth got away from me there...)

But no matter what anyone says, they can't make this process any less amazing- and I will surely feel free to give them a piece of my opinion when appropriate as well. Body image is such an important lesson that we are taught by our families, and our family will certainly have that as well as the obvious two moms thing to contend with. I have come to the firm conclusion that both areas require a strong pair of shoulders to hold your head up high, and I plan on leading by example.

Happy Friday!

For our bilingual friends

....this is new:





The English one is from yesterday and the German one is today.

I think it is time to call and get an appointment with the doctor!

We are so excited and hope that this baby sticks!